Crumbs in the Butter
by Savannah Merideth Bourne
Summary: NOT FINISHED! Alice, modern day Alice, that is, gets caught up in Wonderland's wiles once more, this time faced with an epic challenge given to her by the Red Queen: Fall in love with the Mad Hatter.


**Crumbs in the Butter**

**Chapter One: The Hatter's Tea Party**

"Alice. ALICE. ALICE!"

I sat up in shock and slammed my head into the bar above my head. I groaned in pain as I fell back onto my pillows, rubbing the impact site.

"Mum, I've asked so many times," I yelled through the house, rolling my legs out of my covers, " Please don't wake me up like that! I end up injuring myself!"

I stood up, opening my eyes. My mum was in the doorway, holding the phone. "It's Dave," she said, placing the phone in my limp hand. As she turned to walk away, she shouted back, "Tell him not to call so early! He woke your father!"

I heaved a sigh and put the receiver to my ear.

"'Ello, love," I breathed, plopping into my plush bean bag. "Why're you calling so early. If you didn't hear, you wo-"

"It's not Dave, you dodo!" screamed a girl's voice on the line. "It's Lace! Now get down here!"

"Wow," I laughed, "My mum IS a nutter after all, eh?"

"Bollocks. You're ten times worse than your mum and you know it."

I chuckled, said goodbye, and hit the 'OFF' button. As I began pulling off my pajamas, humming a song with no words. I grabbed a pair of decent-looking jeans and a tattered old shirt, dressing myself and snatching my filthy off-white trainers from the corner as I headed out the door.

"MUM! I'M OFF TO LACEY'S!"

"FINE! Later, Alice!"

And with that, I was out the door and sprinting through the streets of London. I reached Lacey's flat and rang the buzzer. I heard the "you're allowed here" buzz and pushed open the old door.

Lacey stood there, platinum blond hair in pigtails. She looked almost translucent, with her pale white skin, all getup, and of course her pale cerulean eyes. Even her eyelashes were white. Not even a bit of rouge on her cheek could disguise the fact that Lacey was half albino.

"Come on, now!" She grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me back into the chilly morning air. "We're late!" she screamed, checking her lucky gold pocket watch.

"Thanks for the 'hello, how are you today, Alice? Sorry for practically ripping you from your peaceful slumber, only to drag you to an undisclosed location!' Very friendly, Lace!"

"No time for apologies! We're late! I've had this date set for months! Very important!" she shouted breathlessly, speeding up as she power walked down the busy walkway, dragging me all the way.

We reached the park, of all places, a few minutes later, where she came to an abrupt stop and squealed in delight.

"Ah! There's Johnny!"

"Who? Who's Johnny?"

"New kid. You have to meet him. He's so…_crazy._"

Great. Just what I needed in my life, more crazy people. Obviously, my mum was insane, and my best friend was headed down the same path. I didn't think I could handle any more crazy.

She tugged me through the grass until we met a young guy with deep emerald colored eyes, and chestnut hair. He had a tattered and torn top hat in his right hand, and a bit of eyeliner on. Like he hadn't washed his eyeliner off the night before, and this was what was left. A straggle of random people I recognized from school surrounded us, holding random, never-matching teacups.

"Hello, you lot." He greeted us in a strangely attractive nasally voice. "Tea?"

"No thanks." I said, wrinkling my nose. "I'm not that fond of tea."

"Don't like tea?" he said bewilderedly, staring at me, "Your clockwork isn't tickin' properly, is it, love?" He tapped his forefinger on his temple, signaling that he thought I must be insane if I didn't like tea. How strange. I just rolled my eyes and scoffed, my infamous defense mechanism, downplaying his insult.

I didn't realize it just then, but Johnny Hatter was not from our world. He wasn't even human, I don't think. As we sat in the little meadow, imagining a dream world where flowers would sing and playing cards worked for the queen, I fell in love. I fell in love, not with a man, or a woman. I fell in love with a Hatter.

**Chapter Two: ?**

My shriek echoed around the bizarre room as I landed with a thump on someone's bed. I looked around the little enclosure, just in time to see a flash of white disappear behind a small door. I jumped off the unclaimed bed and rushed to the tiny entrance. I pulled it open to find…another door. I opened _it_ to find…_another _door. I started to get frustrated as I realized each door I opened led to a smaller door. I was about ready to scream in annoyance when I found an opening. I crawled through the undersized doorway, only to find an empty room, with white walls and wooded floors. The only thing in the room was another small ornate, golden door.

I stood and walked towards the Other door. I observed the beautiful carvings in the glimmering door as I reached for the knob.

"OWWW!" I released the golden handle and looked up to see a pair of large, black eyes looking back at me. A giant mouth spoke at me, saying, "That quite hurt. And you woke me up as well!" I stared in horror and stumbled back, expecting to hit the ground. Instead, I fell clumsily into a small glass table, the surface of which a little glass vial was on. It had a pink tag tied around the neck, reading, "Curious?" Of course I was, and so I picked it up, uncorking it in the process. A wisp of smoky white vapor wafted out and swirled aimlessly in the air under my nose. It smelled of oranges and cream. My curiosity deepened…

I looked at the label once again, only to see that it now read, "DRINK ME." I hesitated for a moment. This could've been poison, some toxic trap, a venom of some sort. After a minute or two of pondering the drawbacks, I realized none of them were going to stop me. So I brought the bottle to my lips, tasting something similar to a raspberry as I drank.

"Oh dear.." said the door. Before another word could exit his odd keyhole-mouth, I noticed that everything around me was shrinking. Never one to panic, I looked upwards to see that the ceiling was now mere centimeters from my head. I put my hand up to cushion the impact. To think, I had just come in here looking for Lacey.

I realized, as I looked around, that I wasn't going to get out of this predicament. Tears slid down my face, huge and wet, and crashed at the floor. The door screamed, but I couldn't stop crying. Within a mere minute, the room was half filled with water. The door, in an attempt to save the both of us, screamed, "THE BOX!"

I looked down to see what he meant, and caught sight of a small glass box. I picked it up between two fingers and opened it. There I found a small tart, which read "EAT ME." I was desperate and thoughtless. I picked it up and ate it, and instantly I felt myself falling, a miniature form of my normal self. I landed, miraculously in the box, and I floated through the Door's open keyhole-mouth, as he gulped at the say "HEEEEEY!", I was washed away in a wave of somehow bubbly water. All of a sudden, I plunked into land. Into sand, if that counts as land, anyways. Gallons of water smashing into his face. At least I think it was a he…

As I floated through the keyhole and into the OCEAN, I saw someone. A boy, with a huge hooked nose and white hair. He was standing…on a bottle. A bottle with a message in in. Around him, several birds flew, and he was singing what sounded like an Irish folk song. I attempted to scream at him, beckon him, ask for help, anything, but before I could do much more than

There, I saw the boy and his animal friends dancing around a fire, trying to dry themselves. However, every time the waves would crash, they would all just get soaked once again.

"Excuse me, sir!" I shouted, lumbering over to the strange party, dripping all the way. "Excuse me! You there! You know, that's not a very efficient way to get dry!"

"What do you mean, dear girl? It's the ONLY way to get dry!" he screamed, skipping merrily as he was once again engulfed by the tide.

"May I ask your name?" I said, holding out my hand. He looked at it funnily, as if not knowing what to do with it. Suddenly, he reached out and bit my finger, gnawing on my flesh for a moment, then pulling back to say,

"My name is Charles Dodo, the captain of the Queen's Royal Navy. And you are…?"

How rude, I thought. Biting my finger and then being utterly off-put when I was being completely polite. However, I was taught never to question a superior's manners, and so I curtsied and said,

" My name is Alice. Alice Munroe, sir."

"A-Alice?" he stuttered, almost falling over a slimy rock as he stepped back in what seemed like surprise. "Alice…of Fable?" Seeing as I had no idea what he was on about, I just said, "No, sir. Alice Munroe, of Mulberry Street, London, England."

"England? Where in the devil is this England? And do they serve pies?"

**Chapter Three: Mad People**

After my strange encounter with Capt. Dodo, and a lengthy conversation about all sorts of pie, I continued my quest in search of Lacey. While walking down the beach, I watched the sun come up, and I could've sworn I saw a line of oysters following what looked like a huge walrus in a business suit and a carpenter in coveralls. But my mind had been playing tricks on me all day, so I didn't know what to think. I just kept walking. After an hour or two…or was it just a few minutes…I hiked my way into the forest, getting my brand new leggings filthy.

I walked through the beautiful horde of trees, almost expecting to see a dragon. What I DID see, however, was much more…interesting. I heard screams coming toward me, along with a series of bellowing roars. Frightened, but curious, I followed the sounds until I was practically rugby-tackled into the mud by a pair of identical boys with looks of pure fear on the faces. They got to their feet and looked at me as if I was their savior. Huh. Fat chance.

"Come, Lady! You must help us!" they said in perfect unison, waving their arms frantically. The roars were getting nearer every moment, but they needed my help. How was I going to deny those adorable twin faces. So I said, "Is there something wrong?"

They let out a short burst of laughter at the same time, and said, " How does the little crocodile improve his shining tail?" I had heard that before. My late Uncle Dodgson had said strange little tidbits like that all the time.

"I take that..as a yes?" I said, puzzled. How did they know my uncle? Once again, a deep guttural roar rang out through the forest, shaking the ground. A look of absolute terror washed over the twins faces, and they each grabbed a hold of my wrist. In an attempt to use my manners, I said "Er-I'm Alice". All at once, they stopped, dropping me into the mud. What a wonderful day I was having.

"THE Alice?" one of them said, his face contorted with surprise.

"Alice of Legend?" said the other, a similar expression covering his tiny features. What in the world were thay talking about? I was...Alice. Just Alice. I thought...

And then, without any warning, a huge, dragon-like creature, the size of Buckingham Palace, jumped out, crushing a long row of trees with huge claws. It let out a huge growling roar, matching the ones we'd heard it before. I was in shock, completely unable to react sanely. The twins, on the other hand, seemed to recognize the thing.

"THE JABBERWOCKY!" they screeched together, turning quick to run. A second later, my mind snapped into place, and I followed suit.


End file.
